Tell Me What You Want by Justin J. Lehmiller

Author:Justin J. Lehmiller
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, pdf
Publisher: Da Capo Press
Published: 2018-07-09T16:00:00+00:00

14. How Well Do You Handle Stress?

Neuroticism is a personality trait characterized by emotional instability. Neurotics don’t cope with stress very well and tend to have very negative reactions toward it. In light of this, it shouldn’t be surprising that neurotic people tend to play it safe when it comes to their sexual fantasies, reporting fewer fantasies about group sex, nonmonogamy, and novelty. They don’t express much desire for new activities or new partners because they don’t necessarily know what they’re getting. That uncertainty can be stressful, especially when coupled with the prospect of a partner potentially expressing interest in someone else, such as in the case of a threesome. Instead, they seem to prefer more predictable sexual interactions that follow an established script.

What neurotics do tend to fantasize about are BDSM and passion/romance. This tells us that their fantasies tend to be about either distraction and escape or calming emotional content. Either way, the goal seems to be fending off feelings of stress and insecurity.

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